i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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