R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
...so i touched it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
