Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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