BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
