also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
