we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize