I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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