we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I want is dick and wine.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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