she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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