my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
