ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
