You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
