Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
