Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
