Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
