I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize