I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
