One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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