some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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