kristin has been a bad kristin
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Randomize
