she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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