Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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