I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Randomize
