You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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