Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So vagazzling was a success
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
