his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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