Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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