this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
