We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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