when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
