did you get engaged???
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
