Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
