So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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