I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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