Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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