Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
