He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
