shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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