so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your penis caused this!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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