Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
