Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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