I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize