Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
