So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
