I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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