ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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