The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
