Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
