Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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