Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
