Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
