Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize