i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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