My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
