Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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