her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
