ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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