Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
