Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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